Much Ado About Nothing: Act II, Scene iii
Much Ado About Nothing Act 2, Scene 3 Benedick
(This text is featured in our interview with John Douglas Thompson)
7 I do much wonder that one man, seeing how much
8 another man is a fool when he dedicates his
9 behaviors to love, will, after he hath laughed at
10 such shallow follies in others, become the argument
11 of his own scorn by failing in love: and such a man
12 is Claudio. I have known when there was no music
13 with him but the drum and the fife; and now had he
14 rather hear the tabour and the pipe: I have known
15 when he would have walked ten mile a-foot to see a
16 good armour; and now will he lie ten nights awake,
17 carving the fashion of a new doublet. He was wont to
18 speak plain and to the purpose, like an honest man
19 and a soldier; and now is he turned orthography; his
20 words are a very fantastical banquet, just so many
21 strange dishes. May I be so converted and see with
22 these eyes? I cannot tell; I think not: I will not
23 be sworn, but love may transform me to an oyster; but
24 I’ll take my oath on it, till he have made an oyster
25 of me, he shall never make me such a fool. One woman
26 is fair, yet I am well; another is wise, yet I am
27 well; another virtuous, yet I am well; but till all
28 graces be in one woman, one woman shall not come in
29 my grace. Rich she shall be, that’s certain; wise,
30 or I’ll none; virtuous, or I’ll never cheapen her;
31 fair, or I’ll never look on her; mild, or come not
32 near me; noble, or not I for an angel; of good
33 discourse, an excellent musician, and her hair shall
34 be of what colour it please God. Ha! the prince and
35 Monsieur Love! I will hide me in the arbour.